The following piece was written sometime in 2009 when I was struggling with my shadow self. I had grown tired of hiding from it and being hijacked by that other side of me. So instead I decided to shine a light on it and embrace it.
I am on to you! On to what you really are.
You come into my life and attack me with all of my regrets, anger, insecurities, all my negative and darker aspects, and pains both emotional and physical like a barrage, a cyclone, and cacophony of insanity.
You only show up when I’m full of love, light, and potential.
When I’m ready to move forward, you try to make me forget, try to make me small, weak, and vulnerable.
You have succeeded in the past, but now I’m on to who you are and what you are, and why you are here. Maybe that is why I am so driven to write lately, not so much to put it out there for others but also for myself so that I could start to see the patterns in my life, the cycles that bring you back to the forefront of my life.
Are you so afraid of what my light could do that you need to intimidate me with your presence? You forget, that you are only made up of my fears, and my insecurities, mirroring back to me everything I wish I could forget. But now I know who you are, and I see why you are here.
My light is shining bright, my light body is intact, it is connected to the grid of light, I have a community now, I know my purpose, I know that I am so much more powerful than you.
The fears that you project onto me I will forgive, with grace and love and understanding. They have no power over me anymore. You have no power over me anymore.
Yes, I am writing myself free from all these perceived barriers. I love you too because you are a part of me, a part that feels weak and afraid and lost, a part that has been hurt and abandoned.
Well, you are not, you were never alone. We are here and we are light, we are love and we will shine in the darkest of places, so there is no sense in fighting the light. I’m on to who you are, what you are and I’m not going away.
Shine on, Bright Light, see yourself in me, know that you are light and love as well, shed your skin, your costume of protective darkness, trying to hide. There is no need, your true clothing is one of light, power, love, healing, strength, courage, and connectedness. REMEMBER that.